NOBODY likes to play with a ball hog

watching someone hog the ball (feel free to take this metaphor as literally as you'd like lol) is like THE most annoying, frustrating, bothersome, infuriating, irritating thing ever in the history of the world! ...Yet and still, every group of friends has one. That one person working extra hard, trying to do all kinds of outlandish shit, who can't help but work to keep the attention on him or herself at all times..just trying to show off... yep. you all know as soon as i said that one of your friends immediately came to mind lol. I've definitely had a gooood share of ball hogs in my lifetime, the kind that do it without thinking twice.. and let me tell you, after a while that shit gets TOO old. And let me clear this up now by saying, in no way am I jealous of these ball hogging friends of mine, (I definitely don't need a lot of attention from a lot of people to feel loved or special) but at times, I actually sympathize for them. More often than not, they're they kind of people that only feel a sense of importance when all eyes are on them. Showing off, doing little tricks (literally & metaphorically) in front of the crowd, knowing that that's not who they are behind closed doors - or for the sake of the metaphor, 'off the court' lol. Trying to be the star of the show..all night..every night, just trying get the stats, trying to one-up everyone on their team. and me, I've just been running up & down with the folks, calling these cats my partners, knowing that as soon as there's a crowd they could give a fuck less about me - this is their show. So I suck it up, I try to deal with it in the most effective way. Of course I vent every now & then to the others...

-me: ...aye, um, is it just me or....
-friend: Nah girl, its not just you...

But ultimately I just suck it up. Let that ball hog get all the attention he or she needs to feel like they fit in with the team - or better yet, stand out. Who am I to force them to feel less adequate? by all means, let them do what they gotta do, right? because after all, it all boils down to the fact that I just don't need 'the ball' to feel special - I'm the fuckin [wo]man! (it just doesnt work as well as saying 'man!') On the court, off the court, ball or no ball, I know what I'm capable of and i know I'm the shit -- i need not convince others that i am cool. Ask about me. Lol, no, but seriously, I've grown to not need attention to feel special. I don't need a crowd to feel respected, I don't need everyones eyes to feel seen. And as much as it seems I may work for attention, as cocky as it may sound, its my natural personality that attracts the attention I get, I'm not putting in overtime, despite what it may seem/what people may think...(anyone with a sense of confidence knows what i mean..).. I know who I am and I do take great pride in it, and I don't need others' approval to feel that way. I prove it to myself.

I'm not playing a game and I'm not putting on a show. I'm me, on and off the court. Lol, I'm my own MVP - 'give a fuck whatchoo think..

:)