your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. don't think that you've lost time. it took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. and now is right on time.
your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. don't think that you've lost time. it took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. and now is right on time.
Pursuit Of Happiness VERSE1: Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit Feelin’ lit feelin’ light, 2 am summer night. I don't care, hand on the wheel, drivin drunk, I'm doin’ my thing Rollin the Midwest side and out livin’ my life getting’ out dreams People told me slow my road I'm screaming out fuck that Imma do just what I want lookin’ ahead no turnin’ back if I fall if I die know I lived it to the fullest if I fall if I die know I lived and missed some bullets.
CHORUS: I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good.
VERSE 2: Tell me what you know about dreamin’ dreamin’ you don't really know about nothin’ nothin’ tell me what you know about them night terrors every night 5 am, cold sweats wakin’ up to the skies tell me what you know about dreams, dreams tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin’ you don't really care about the trials of tomorrow rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow
CHORUS: I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good
...that's my feel good song :)
alsooooooooo...
Up, Up and Away VERSE1: Now when the sun come up ill be there to say what up in the morning brush my teeth find that clip i been lookin for since last night i feel so caught up in a bud i flow some round in my bedroom turn around see myself in the mirror I guess I'm cool and no sappy thoughts in my head I'm feeling like I'm peter pan minus the tights in the first happy to see how far I've come to the same place think again my dream and imaginations perfectly at peace so I move along a bit higher
CHORUS: I'll be up up and away up up and away cuz they gon' judge me anyway so whatever I'll be up up and away up up and away cuz in the end they'll judge me any so whatever
VERSE2: I learn, I see the dreams are made so I'm cooler now I could take care of my mom and my little niece serious so sing along lil' mama you aint gotta worry bout no drama no ill provide for friends and fam and fans cleveland city grinding man stay at flow the kids hope i never let a motherfucka break me dogg who gives a fuck if a nigga don't like your steeds tell em to buzz off your n-u-tz we don't care what people say dude u can take your clothes and ? day I aint gotta wait for no one If i wanna fly i could fly for freedom. Hey!
CHORUS: I'll be up up and away up up and away cuz they gon' judge me anyway so whatever I'll be up up and away up up and away cuz in the end they'll judge me any so whatever
Wake up wake up wake wake up Wake up wake up wake wake up
...my 'some times you gotta say FTW and be happy' song :) i could do this for almost every song, but i won't...so just go listen to the album for yourself. i highly recommend the purchase (and/or download)
this is one of those posts that doesnt really have a specific point, but i've got a lot on my mind.
i've never really been one to keep my thoughts to myself. i personally feel it's healthier for ME to talk something out, seek advice, hear other opinions (not necessarily make them my own, but it helps me to see things from other perspectives), rather than having to consciously or subconsciously obsess over a thought that may only stress me out further. so that's what brings me here. my blog. hello, blog! i've got an issue..
often times i'm considered an over thinker. which is true. i do over think. but that's conditioning. because i've been exposed to (what i feel is) a lot of shit in (what i feel is) a short period of time. my life's experiences have in a sense, scared me to trust and be vulnerable to people and give chances among other things. but that happens. that's why it's harder for people to trust once their hearts have been broken via relationship, friendship, family issues..whatever, it's all conditioning. andthat's what life is. shit happens and it shapes you, molds you and teaches you a lesson that will ultimately stick with you...forever. and you will carry these lessons you've learned into nearly every aspect of your life from that day forth. your life has been changed. with everyday that goes by, we learn something...and whether it's a big something, or a little something, things plant themselves in our minds - whether we realize it/want it to, or not. ....but...back to my point...i think too much.
and (unfortunately at times) i've been cursed with a strong belief in the saying 'everything happens for a reason' ...and while at times this simply 5-worded saying gets me through the TOUGHEST of times...it also makes me over think...everything "since this person left my life should i let them walk out or is it a test to see how much i truly value and will fight for our relationship?" ..thats the kind of stuff i think about..and i'm thinking all the time. it's horrible. it gets me into so much trouble. and like i said when i first started this post, i'm not one to keep my thoughts to myself...so that makes this situation even deeper. on one hand, i thought this blog would help me channel my thoughts in a productive manner, but i realize it's just a way for me to share my thoughts with an even wider audience than i normally would - leaving more room for misinterpretation, my thoughts falling into the wrong hands (coming across the wrong eyes), etc. etc. but more so, my thoughts get me into trouble in a more direct way. they usually lead me to making the wrong decisions....ironic, right? not like i usually choose the wrong answers, but i find that when i tell people what i'm honestly thinking, about my fears, concerns, issues...whether it be about me, them, an 'us', or a third party......it always, without fail backfires on me.
so towards the end of this summer i started a little practice. i stopped sharing my thoughts. i stopped blogging, barely tweeting..barely talking. and while on one hand, i was getting into less 'trouble,' people took offense to it....well if that's what it takes, so be it. it's apparent that you can't please everyone..especially when youve got to look out for yourself.
i'm not really sure what im getting at. but i've come to the realization that i think so much out of a fear of making the wrong choice. i've made some poor decisions in my life. everyone does at some point..but i'm tired of them coming back and biting me in the ass. before i make anything permanent, i know have to make sure my chances of success are waaaay higher than my chances of failure. but that's not how life works. everything isnt a simple mathematical equation that way. there isnt always a 'right' and 'wrong' answer. sometimes you just have to go with what you feel at the moment. you can't always avoid heart ache, sadness or pain ...sometimes you just gotta take it, learn from it and move on. because if you spend your whole life trying to avoid a few tears (however your emotional outlet may come)...you'll find you miss out on a lot of great opportunities just because you THOUGHT you knew how things would turn out.
i've learned that you have to put your faith in a higher power and most importantly, have faith in YOURSELF above anything..life isnt one big problem we were meant to solve. we, as humans, don't have all the answers. we are destined to make mistakes and it is inevitable. often times, it takes a big mistake to learn a lesson. God works in mysterious ways..you gotta understand that you're just along for the ride.
there's this quote i read a while back that always kind of seems to pick me up whenever i feel a little down and out about something..it went something like:
"every story has a happy ending. if you're not happy...it's not the end"
live;laugh;love.
one of the most unfortunate occurrences in life is when those you surround yourself with lose their faith in your ability to
for me, this was definitely that summer where i kind of got a glimpse of who and what kind of people will be in my life for a while and those who are simply passing through.
the first summer after college everyone seems so eager to meet up with high school friends and hear about each other's adventures, while at the same time making plans to travel all across the country to meet your college best friends and their familes. it's a summer of excitement. with this being the summer leading into my Junior year of college, this summer wasnt so much about excitement and travel, but about self development and getting my shit together - getting my priorities straight. i only saw a few college friends and even fewer high school friends..but the ones i did see, i love deeeearly. i feel like, despite the fact that this school year had me doing a lot of mental and emotional growing, my priorities are just different. it's no longer about how many friends i have on my bbm list, or how many different people i have pictures with or how many people write on my facebook wall.. it's now about maintaining a strong friendship with those people i truly appreciate and respect being in my life. along with that went the partying. while the previous summer i found myself eager to go to every party, make appearances, let my presence be known and do the things 'every college student does'..this summer, that undoubtedly changed. i no longer felt like the amount of fun i had, had to do with the number of events in which i was in attendance. at the parties i did go to, i was no longer the rowdy, wild one..i became more of an observer (i love people watching)..kept to myself, did more conversing than dancing...not saying i didn't have fun...because i definitely i had my nights.....
the point being, i had a great summer. i spent a looot of time with those i really care about..and did a lot of things i've been wanting to do. i made a lot of memories and experienced a lot of firsts but most importantly i saw people's true colors..and realized which people hold true value in my life. not saying i don't appreciate everyone who is, was, or will be in my life, but i've developed a greater appreciation for those who have been there for and with me through the ups and downs, ins and outs, smiles, tears...everything. i had a good summer. a meaningful summer. a summer of growing independence and deep evaluation. a perfect summer with a perfect ending leading up to my 3 month long adventures in Europe. i'm happy with the note i left everyone on and the way i'm feeling about things. life is too short to be caught up in the quantity of things you experience, but the quality of the experiences you are blessed enough to have.
"life is not the amount of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away"
after months of blogging about it, i've finally arrived in Barcelona, Spain - my home for the next four-ish months.
16 hours of combined traveling was...actually...not as bad as i thought it would be. on the first plane from Los Angeles to London, i actually ended up sitting next to some students studying abroad in Portugal and we happened to have a few friends in common. They served me some BOMB dinner on the plane and of course, offered me white whine, which i graciously accepted without having to show ID. NICE. a sweet little layover in Heathrow where i actually made friends with a guy in my program who is from LA and knows a majority of my LA friends -random but cool! After wasting time in the airport together, we had another 2 hour flight to Barcelona...not bad at all. I finally made it home, we got a little lost in the cab, and couldnt quite find my apartment (everything is in Catalan......) but i figured it out....eventualmente.
first and foremost. mi casa y mi familia. The House is so typically European. small hallways, petite rooms...tall windows, high ceilings, detailed floor tiles...the whole shabang. it makes me feel like i'm somewhere other than home, which is so exciting to me. and as for mi familia, ME ENCANTA! they're the most precious couple ever. they don't speak a word of English, which i LOVE...we had about an hour and half of 'get to know you' conversation...all in Catalan/Spanish...turns out i knew more than i thought i did - que bueno.
the only thing that's taking some adjusting to is the time difference (+9 hours) and the fact that i can't call home as readily as i normally do (pero, tengo SKYPE!) ...but other than that, so far, i really like it here.
