I Am Music Tour

one of the many songs that stuck out to me last night.

no.

i decided today that i don't want children.

i do not.

WIll Smith

gorgeous.

i didnt mean to stay up so late doing this :(

um, yeah, the trading places video is the sexiest thing i've
seen in a while. lol
this blog was originally meant to talk about usher's body.
because although he is a little man, his bodily proportions are a-ok.
his six pack - well he's known for his sick..i mean six pack - and what girl doesnt love a six pack?!
and his arms...his arms are wonderful because they're not extremely muscular like a pro-wrestler (lowkey very scary and intimidating...) but they're not weenie. like he could fight off a predator but he's not gonna break your whole right side when he reaches to shake your hand. Usher wins my best little body award.

------------- --------------
but now this blog entry has become about attire.
people who's styles i like...and those i dont.

first,

me likey!

justin and the plain v-neck, you can't
really go wrong with that. i just like
the way things fit him. classy. i like classy.

now, how many people can pull
off some khaki pants, a black shirt
and a freakin jean jacket and make it
look pretty damn spiffy

i am so glad bow wow decided to go
with the nice fade and dropped all

his huge clothes and braids with the
rubber bands on the ends...

THIS MAN,
woof. so everyone saw the cover
and back cover of TIvs.TIP. this man
can clean up well. but yet and still, as sexy as
this man looks in a nice pinstripe suit, i still love his
sexy 'hardcore' appeal. the plain wife beater with
some jeans that arent big enough to fit another person inside.
worn loose around his waste with a nice belt. and..wait..
is he actually pulling off a leather jacket?! man oh man.
not to mention. he's not wearing all kinds of huge ass words
with diamonds and pointless shit hanging from his chain.
this man is ...dare i say...perfect?

i can't help but love JT's kinda-semi new found look with
the FutureSexLoveSound album. I love his rugged look as
well..very similar to TI's actually or TI's is similar to his
regardless(...so his is dress up attire now
that i think about it), shit, they're both My Loves!

now, not very many men can pull of a
pea coat .... but then again, not man people
still pull of waves or can sing like drake..
touché

i still favor the plain look of a white tee
with a small chain, a brown hoodie (i want a brown hoodie)
with some jeans (i really like the wash of these jeans) and
some sneaks. sweet

i also like the look of a plain black tee
(while we're on the picture, how sexy are her
nails? SHE can pull of ANYTHING literally. try her)

(so does rhianna apparently..)

now,
me no likey!

where do i begin?
maybe the two-toned blonde & blackishdoodoobrown dreads?
(it looks like a bunch of animals are hibernating
in his scalp and their tails are sticking out)
or the big ass bear on his body with the personalized
country-sized zipper...ew

soulja boy...
the glasses, one, not only is the writing
on them tacky..but those aren't even good
shades on you, bruh. what kind of earrings are those?
and is your 'chain' made out
of rubber bands?!?

*no words*

i wouldnt even hate on this if
omarion didnt look like a vampire
who got that good hurr...

...i just...i dont even know.
WHO TOLD HIM THIS WAS OK!?

I had to take it back and hate on this
fool again...top hat..sunglasses..jean vest..clear cane?
and what kind of duck shoes are those? oh, and let us
not forget his grill...remember when those were in?
what was that? 8th grade?



there's just too much going on with the upper
half of his torso alone to even begin to say what's
wrong. it looks like he has on four different outfits.
with the soulja boy glasses...and the plastic hat
...smilin like he looks good...BOY I SWEAR.

tis all

'still on my brain'

the power of SHUFFLE


this song
and this man
are beautiful!

me, myself & i

listening to this song, i realized it applies more to me than i realized.
well, the first & second verse (minus the kids part).
still working on achieving the chorus lol:

I can't believe i believed
Everything we had would last
So young and naive for me to think
She was from your past
Silly of me to dream of
One day having your kids
Love is so blind
It feels right when it's wrong

I can't believe i fell for your schemes
I'm smarter than that
So young and naive to believe that with me
You're a changed man
Foolish of me to compete
When you cheat with loose women
It took me some time but now i moved on

So controlling , you said that you love me
But you don't
Your family told me one day
I would see it on my own
Next thing i know i'm dealing
With your three kids in my home
Love is so blind
It feels right when it's wrong

Now that it's over
Stop calling me
Come pick up your clothes
Ain't no need to front like you're still with me
All your homies know
Even your very best friend
Tried to warn me on the low
It took me some time
But now i am strong

hilarity

it's a size 10 shoe.

Boredom post

first of all, my phone keeps doing the double-vibrate, meaning it's a BBM.
i want it to only vibrate once, because that means it's a text message..hopefully from him.


OMG..it just did..and it was...thank you God :)
oh LORD...then it vibrated once again..and it was NOT him..this is going to be the first topic of this blog entry i suppose.

so my friend/ guy i used to talk to has been really adamant (it took me SO many tries to spell that right..is that even right?) anyway. he wanted to kiggit over thanksgiving, but i spent so much time tryna get my friendships right that i didnt have time. So a few days ago he asked me to come spend the weekend with him at csun (i didnt like hearing that, one, because csun now officially reminds me of 'him + her') so i said no. then he asked for just one friday night and leave saturday..i didnt wanna do that because it'd look all bad if i was mysteriously gone for a weekend, or a night, or whatever it may have been. SOo00ooOo0OoO (i hate when people type like that) my 'friend' - i'm just going to call him friend with a capital F - Friend.

nvm, i dont want to talk about this anymore...

if i could sing one song right now:

this is the youtube i liked the best [that i could post] for this song.
i like her tattoo & style.
i wish i could sing.



Song:"The Truth"
Artist:India.Arie
C.D.:"Voyage To India"


Spoken : Let me tell you why I love him

Chorus:
Cause he is the truth
Said he is so real
And I love the way that he makes me feel
And if I am a reflection of him then I must be fly because
His light it shines so bright I wouldn't lie no


Verse 1:
I remember the very first day that I saw him
I found myself immediately intrigued by him
It's almost like I knew this man from another life
Like back then maybe I was his husband maybe he was my wife
And even,things I don't like about him are fine with me
Cause it's not hard for me to understand him cause he's so much like me
And it's truly my pleasure to share his company
And I know that it's God's gift to breathe
The air he breathes

Chorus:
Cause he is the truth
Said he is so real
And I love the way that he makes me feel
And if I am a reflection of him then I must be fly because
His light it shines so bright I wouldn't lie (no)ohhhhhhhhh!


Verse 2:
How can the same man that makes me so mad
Do you know what he did-(Spoken)
Turn right around and kiss me so soft
Girl do you know what he did-(Spoken)
If he ever left me I wouldn't even be sad no
Cause there's a blessin' in every lesson
And I'm glad that I knew him at all

Chrous:
Cause he is the truth
Said he is so real
And I love the way that he makes me feel
And if I am a reflection of him then I must be fly because
His light it shines so bright no


Bridge, Break-down, & Ending :
I love the way he speaks
I love the way he thinks
I love the way that he treats his mama
I love that gap in between his teeth
I love him in every way that a woman can love a man
From personal to universal but most of all
It's unconditional

You know what I'm talking about-(Spoken)
That's the way I feel
And I always will-(Spoken)

There ain't no substitute for the truth
Either it is or isn't
(Cause he is the truth)
You see the truth it needs no proof
Either it is or it isn't
(Cause he is the truth)
Now you know the truth by the way it feels
And if I am a reflection of him then I must be fly
Because he is, yes he is
I wonder does he know

beware:

i ruin everything good in my life.

i'm home now. yay?

i was in the airport, trying to charge my iPod and adding some
aaliyah to my 'chill' mix. then the wonderful power of shuffle came into play.
and The Truth by India.Arie came on and blew my mind.

so the whole plane ride i'm listening to it on repeat..along with a few other
songs (that fit with the mood i was in) like:

• Ex-Factor -Lauryn Hill
• Me, Myself & I - Beyonce
• Brand New - Drake
• If - Destiny's Child
• Fallin - J.Holiday
• Emotion - Destiny's Child
• Nothing Even Matters - Lauryn Hill ft. D'angelo
• Co Star - Day26
• Sweet Misery - Latif
• Ordinary People - John Legend
• One In A Million - Aaliyah
• Can't Let Go - Anthony Hamilton
• When The Water Runs Dry - Boys II Men
• Sucka For Love - Danity Kane
• Closer - Goaple
• Truth Is - Fantasia
• Old Lovas - Dwele
• At Last - Etta James
• Flaws and All - Beyonce
• All My Life - KC & JoJo
  
• Diary - Alicia Keys
  
• Resentment - Beyonce
• My Good Thing - Pretty Willie
• Boyfriend - Asia Cruz
• That's What Its Made For - Usher
  
• Cater 2 u - Destiny's Child
  

...and probably some others.
I find myself listening to these songs
a lot...i dont know what it means.
maybe i'm just extremely emotional,
or happily in love, or sadly in love because the
messages in these songs are kinda ..all over the place to say the least.
but yeah, those songs sum up the mood i was in.

The End
[for now]

i feel this song best describes us [on a good day]

i got you, babe.






[this is also for you, klamchow lol]

i mean..

someone once said

someone once told me that they feel i only share about 25 percent (at most) of what really goes in my head.





true. oh so true.
[but that's what this blog is for]

someone tell Santa that i was good this year...

extremely sexual, right?

just for the sake of daily blogging..

i've been trying to go about my day in the most productive and positive way possible - and i think i'm doing a pretty good job so HOORAY ME!

it is most definitely finals week, makensy's ideal break-down time, but i'm thinking about actually not turning all sour puss and being a good little girl and just sucking it up!

the only issue i have is it's 10-ish and i have two finals tomorrow...and i've only studied for one.
but i feel like releasing whatever excess thoughts are on my mind first would be the best way to go about studying in an effective way.
let me tell you bout my day while Charlie restarts his computer (we were video chatting :))

• i slept in (Mmmmm!) til about 10 because my friend asked me to study with him (ilh)
  
• i took my time getting dressed and enjoyed the morning. it was sunny today - looked nice.
  
• i walked downstairs to talk to a friend, had a nice little conversation too (i reminded him my birthday is in 3 DAYS!!)
• walked outside and it was FREEEZING - NorCal is sooo misleading ! (apparently it was a HIGH of 58...wtf.)
• SIDENOTE::: i saw my school best friend today - hadn't seen him in days. we've all been hibernating because of finals -_-
  
• i'm low on meal points so i bought myself a sugar donut (99c) and a cranberry hibiscus teah ($1.09)
• i walked inside the library, and found a seat on the sofas...put my tea down on the floor so it wouldnt spill over...my friend comes up to greet me, and of course he kicks over my tea. awesome. but i did not fret - i simply enjoyed my donut.
• "studied for a bit"
• walked back to my room and decided to do some laundry and some cleaning so i'd be ready for my take off Wednesday afternoon (I'M GOING HOME SO SOON!!!)
• i finished packing. oww! yeah yeah yeah!
  
• MY FRIENDS VISITED - made my day! thanks for spending the day with me & helping me study loves!
  
• they went to taco bell - i decided to 'do the right thing' & studied while they were gone - and they graciously brought me back a soft taco supreme with mild sauce - i love my mommy!!
• now im video chatting with my Charlie ...well, i was.
  

what a great day, considering it's finals week, right?

what is a 'happy medium'

it's finals week..i'm extremely stressed
but it's not even from school - that's the sad part.

i no longer know what to think about people.
that's not specific to boys nor girls..just people in general.
overall, ive concluded that i just expect too much from people
and of course that's completely my fault.
it's a combination of my high expectations, and my rapidly fluctuating moods that makes it really difficult to maintain
a solid and consistent friendship with people..again, i acknowledge
that that is completely my fault.

the problem is, i'm not sure how to fix any of this, because my friends and our relationships mean a lot to me. so consequently, if
they're not doing well, then i'm not doing well -- hence my ongoing STRESS

recently i realized that i get upset, like any normal person would, when you're the friend that's constantly making the effort in a relationship (and it sucks even more when it goes unrecognized). i've been feeling a little taken for granted, it frustrates me, and i get extremely sad/irritated/affected by it.


IT GETS WORSE.
earlier this school year, i became the person i didnt like. the person that doesnt understand why someone is affected when you're too busy for them, or is too lazy to work towards maintaining a worthwhile friendship. and for that i apologize. because i essentially lost a really good friend who was nothing but there for me when i needed her and
constant neglect + impatience = bad relationship


i WAS on this new, i'm only going to make time for those who make time for me..but then i realized..i need to start making more of an effort....