my name - in your mouth.

*preface: bitching post. enjoy.

lol, listen kids...i'm just out here living. don't take my actions personally and more importantly, don't feel sorry for me or even more importantly, don't try to get me to feel sorry for myself...there's just absolutely no reason you should, and it's not going to happen - i'm more satisfied than ever.. in case you haven't heard. lol.

so i'll say this. first off,

i dont have to hide anything.

i've learned to not care what people say about me anymore.

...too much of that has been done.

and i know why.

for the last few years people have become accustomed to me living my life a certain way - in a relationship, knowing everything about me and who i'm with..what we do, when...

and now that i'm not, everything seems to be news, gossip worthy, 'word on the street'.

"oh, you hear who Makensy's talking to"

"you hear what Makensy did?"

no, no one heard until you brought it up.

no, no one cares, because it neither adds nor detracts from their everyday lives [..and if it does, then that's another day/issue/blog post..]

sooo.....so what?!

what are you TALKING about?

no answer?

alright, question.

what are you doing with your life everyday?

doing you and minding your own business?

because that's all i'm doing. literally.

i understand its going to take time, and some adjusting to

but,

ladies and gentleman,

i am no different from you when it comes to entertaining someone [new.]

so yes its true, it's true. the rumors are alllll true.

theres someone new. theyre great...i could go on, but i'll spare the details..

so what is it that you want from me..me, personally?

honestly. what it is it that you expect? [seriously, i'd love if someone would answer this..]

i'm not hurting anyone.

i come to the constant conclusion that you can't please them all.

because look at me, guys. i'm not inquiring about ANYone else's life - love, friendship or other.

but i'll tell you this. i'm not keeping secrets on anything i'm doing... just because you hear about it from someone else and not me, does not mean it's something i'm trying to hide.

i have nothing to be ashamed of - my name isn't tarnished, despite what you want me to think.

tarnished is....a-whole-nother story.

i would say, just ask yourself.

like :

"self, am i in a position to judge Makensy?"

"self, do i have the right to put someone else's business out there or disrespect their name [unless its for my own selfish reasons and if that is the case, maybe i should make sure the person i'm talking about, aka Makensy, doesnt have shit on me.......]?"

"self, has Makensy done something wrong to me where i feel the need to go out of my way to show my bad manners?"

some people just don't respect my 'hustle'. but, other's do..i like to call them realists.

but for those who feel compelled to continue speaking, it only leaves me to wonder WHY would you continue to make the effort to interpret and discuss my every moves? - the only answer i can come up with is:

you want to be me or you want to be with me.

orrr you think i'm perfect and hold me on a pedestal - thats cute, but inaccurate and unnecessary.

oh well, i guess it's bad when they stop talking about you.

till then, here's one for old time's sake... :-*