i come here and i'm reminded of the bigger picture that is "the reality of life."
without giving too much away, it's a place where i can overlook the entire city.
the hectic motion, the faint noise, the constant, flickering lights.
my city is so beautiful and it humbles me.
the distant movements of cars and changing traffic lights reminds me of how many people actually live and function in this world. the same world i'm living in..and at the same time.
and more so, i'm reminded of how small and personal my concerns and thoughts may be in the grand scheme of things - compared to other people's day-to-day challenges...life-altering challenges... life-ending challenges...
..and then there's me. yeah, i may be sad right now, maybe even mad. most of the time, i'm just annoyed though. annoyed that life..rather, my life..can't be as simple as i would like for it to be. as simple as i try to make it be. but that's just it. life doesnt listen to you..or me. life doesnt get simpler. it just is. it's hard. it's complicated. it's tricky...and if you're LUCKY, it's long. doesnt that seem twisted? and MY life? i'm a college student on a full-ride to a great university with both of my parents still alive, loving and supporting me in everything i do.
i'm not forced to handle anything i'm not prepared for. THAT is the definition of real life.
and while i sit here contemplating my 'life' and all it has to offer me and if it's ever going to be worth it..and so on....i accept that there's no "right" answers..i cant call it like it is, let alone like it will be...
but as i sit at my place, usually in the comfort of my car, sound track to my life on mute, i just gaze - long and wide-eyed. and while i try to find a spot to focus on, i realize i can't. and that's the beauty of it. there's so much going on in this 'bigger picture' i'm seeing that there is no one place to focus because so much is going on, you're forced to keep up, re-adjust, re-focus.. and as my eyes kind of glaze over, ironically, a sense of hectic-serenity comes over me; all being here does is remind me: life goes on...always.
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