maybe it's just me..

of course everyone has their insecurities..that's a given. no one is perfect, and in a sense, it's good that people recognize their own flaws -- or rather, the way i like to look at it, places where we can improve ;).

but those of us who are so insecure with ourselves that we look to bring down others to our level of shame, doubt and "misery," those who can't find it in them to be happy for their friends doing well, those who look for reasons to 'hate' on others... those people are just a little ridiculous, don't you think?

but this is even bigger than me. i'm not referring only to people who try to bring me down, but others. i'm not into a lot of inter-friendship gossping. why? if that's your friend too, be real with them, talk to them. if they're true, they'll listen and take any kind of criticism constructively because they know you have their best interest at heart.....if not, move forward. perhaps they weren't a true friend anyway. i went to an all-girls school so i've had my share of female-to-female gossip, drama, grudges,....headaches. i've had my share of rumors, and being a victim of some myself, i refuse to condone or encourage that. be real with me, but more importantly, be real with yourself.

it's almost like you're making life harder on yourself being a fake..

i like to surround myself with people with confidence. i'm your friend and everything, but i can't stroke your ego every two seconds to make you feel like you're a person of substance in the world. to reassure you with every move you make; i don't like having to think ...THOROUGHLY..about the ways in which you may misinterpret any and everything i say or do. in addition to that, i don't like surrounding myself with people who will talk badly about me to others, be it people i know or not, simply because you cannot understand that there is a difference between being able to positively receive attention and "needing the attention".. i need friends who are going to live their own lives as opposed to investigating, judging and gossiping about mine. because when i get together with my friends it's going to be a good time, with laughter, jokes, being silly, being MYSELF...not evil glares and "mhmms" and sideways glances.

excuse me, but, fuck that. be happy for me, as i am for you. let me do me, as i let you do you. don't speak illy of me, as i don't speak illy of you. that's the minimum i ask...as a friend, not only should you not be negative, but you should be positive. encouragement, a shoulder, an ear.. you know...

this may just be me.
but this is how i can tell who's my real friends as opposed to well....those who aren't.


if you can't be happy for your friends,
take some time and ask yourself
"why not..?"